I'm done

That's right. I'm done.

MUST SEE

When this comes to a theater near me, or when it goes straight to DVD, I'm throwing a BIG OLD drag queen party. Seriously. You have to see this. RuPaul is back. S-T-A-Double R-BOOTY!

If YouTube had existed...

...when I was 16, would this be my video? Thank GOD technology really picked up after puberty.

WARNING: Don't watch this video on speed. You may pass out.

My belated tribute to Jerry Falwell

Jerry, Jerry, quite contrary,
said the gays should never marry,
Stole the ministry of Tammy Faye,
and assured the sinners they would pay.

So here's a toast from all your faggots,
may your skin get 'ate by maggots,
your fatty stomach will fill with gas,
and finally your soul will pass,

To hell you go, my bigot friend,
all bad people come to an end.



May the world remember you only by this picture. Amen.

Mimes! At Brown!

Stumbled onto this little video. Thought you Brown kids might get a kick out of it. It's a troop of mimes invading the Absolute Quiet Room. Tehehe.

Our Priorities

I just read this fascinating little piece about how much the war in Iraq costs. In case anyone was wondering, we're quickly approaching $456 billion. Seem like a lot of money? Well, the Boston Globe breaks it down for us:

According to World Bank estimates, $54 billion a year would eliminate starvation and malnutrition globally by 2015, while $30 billion would provide a year of primary education for every child on earth.

At the upper range of those estimates, the $456 billion cost of the war could have fed and educated the world's poor for five and a half years.

Check out the rest of this shocking slideshow.

Blog Stalking/DON'T READ IF EASILY DISGUSTED

********DON'T READ IF BODILY FUNCTIONS GROSS YOU OUT********

So, my new favorite habit (as opposed to writing papers that are already past due) is blog stalking or "stogging." Tehehe. I love portmanteaux. Anywho, so while reading my good friend SheWasNiceToMice's blog, I looked down her sidebar and clicked on a random friend. I read the most recent blog posting of said friend's blog, and decided it might be informative to read the oldest posting of said friend. This is what I did, and THIS is what I came across. I guess I have to give this blogger credit for a colorful posting!

I've been stricken for the last 5 days with a stomach virus that I contracted from my friend Dede (pronounced Day-Day). I call it Dederrhea. And if you'd like to know more about it, read the rest of this paragraph; otherwise, I suggest you seek the shelter of a more prudish blog. It's basically made me pee out of my butt... only less like peeing and more like a giant tsunami--large enough to destroy Asia five times over. Sometimes I've had to flush in the middle of Dederrhea attack. That's how bad it is. Gross, huh? Well, it's almost over, I hope. Although the last time I thought it was almost over, it just got worse. Whether or not it's over, I've somehow now been given the World's Worst Sinus Cold. I've never produced so much mucus. It's like all the Dederrhea I was pooping out has reversed gravity and turned into snot. My body's a wonderland.

Pretty good, no? I could imagine the scene perfectly. I should invite this guy to my writing workshop.

Cutest Thing on Earth

Speaking of how much I love crazy Europe, I just had to post this video. I have, no doubt, forced most of you to watch this video before. Well watch it again.

The song is called "Twee Vaders" and is dutch for "Two Fathers." I'll let you figure out what it's about.

This video make me want to cry/squeal/sing. Am I crazy for having a bit of a teeny-bopper crush on this boy? Oh dear. When he grows up he's going to woo all the ladies/men. He makes my heart flutter. Here it is.

Tehehehehe. I love Europe.

I'm not going to say much about this except that:
A) This is sort of like a Europe-wide American Idol, but a little different.

AND

B) The word on the internets is that this guy is going to win.

Enjoy.

The Republicans are Imploding. For Real.

Just check out our fellow blogger, Erick, at redstate.com:

The House Republican Leadership just does not get it and they will not take us seriously until we flex our muscle against them. We must fight the House GOP and we must fight today.

Today, I declare war on the Republican Leadership of the United States House of Representatives. We must scalp one member. That member's name is Ken Calvert.

That's right kiddies. Them's fightin' words, and straight out of the mouth of a Republican! Why has the Republican Civil War erupted? Surprise. It's not because of Bush.

Well, a little back story. See, one Republican dirt bag by the name of Rep. John Doolittle of Cal-i-forn-i-a had to leave his spot on the House Appropriations Committee because his house got raided by the FBI. Yep. That's right. So what do the Republicans do? THEY PUT ANOTHER SCUMBAG WITH BAD ETHICS IN HIS SPOT. Ahahahahahahahahahaha! It's kind of like Christmas, no?

As I realize I have been up all night...

...I'm pondering the possibility of what will happen if I don't finish this DAMN research paper. Do I have enough credits to graduate if I fail? Sheesh. It's hard to be this close... somebody serve me a glass of "whine." Thanks.

Do you want to play "Navy Seal?"

These are the words I heard two 8ish-year-old boys utter on my way home from work. Now, I tried to imagine what this game might consist of. The first thing that sprang to my head, was that these kids were going to go grab their daddies' guns and start swinging them around like crazy. I figured that was a little extreme. So then I imagined that they each had a wet suit hanging in his respective closet. I really hoped I might come back down the street seeing the boys in full gear including snorkel and goggles. Then it occurred to me, what if these boys are referring to actual SEALS? LIKE THE ANIMALS? When they said "Navy seal," maybe they meant they were going to pretend to be one of the U.S. military's Marine Mammals used to fight terrorism! Such patriotic little boys.

P.S. I'm not going to Hong Kong. It looks like it might be Shanghai, Japan, or Korea. Wish me luck!

Who's got the cash?

In earlier posts, moplumsy and I have discussed the possibility of buying one's own micronation. Now if you don't have the billion to buy Sealand, why not consider Sibley? Sure, it's not your own country, but a town ain't so bad. Plus, this one will only cost you between 300 and 500 grand.

We are a weird generation...

The NY Times recently did a little poll of some hot-button issues and displayed the results by different age groups. Well, for the 18-29 age range, the results are really frickin' weird. The findings? Let's compare them to our 65 and over counterparts. We support gay marriage and immigration rights by larger margins than the old folks, yet we also support the war in Iraq and abortion RESTRICTIONS more than the old fogies. Hmmmm...

Click HERE for the graphic.

Austin Powers is Back!

Details here...

http://www.scifi.com/scifiwire/index.php?category=3&id=41417

Interactive Post

So I don't know if anyone other than Morgan and Sam are reading this, therefore I am going to test you. Please answer the following by leaving the appropriate word as a comment:

Ann Coulter makes me feel _________.

An Ending for Lost!

I don't know whether to be excited or exasperated. ABC has announced that Lost will be airing for THREE more years. On one hand, that means three more years of semi-enjoyable but mostly frustrating viewing. On the other hand, that means I have to wait THREE years to figure out what kind of crack those crazy writers were smoking when they made this show. Sigh.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/05/07/television.lost.reut/index.html

Claymation Homo Love

Once upon a time I was reading Shakespeare's brilliant play Troilus and Cressida. It's a bit of an obscure play, but it basically retells the story of the Illiad with a Shakespearean twist. For those of you unfamiliar with the Illiad, it's basically the story of how Achilles goes bonkers when his male lover, Patroclus, is slain. It's actually quite sweet in that super masculine kind of way. The point of this post? Youtube is without a doubt the strangest thing on Earth...

I've got famous friends...

So for all of you who like a little bit of old-time meets honky tonk, let me introduce you to:

THE SWEETBACK SISTERS

Now I'm going to share their music in just a second. But let me tell you: This little band just finished 2nd place out of 700 bands in a talent show. Okay, but guess which one? The PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION talent show, as in the radio show hosted by Garrison Keillor on NPR with an average weekly listenership of 4 million people!!! Snap, snap!

Now for fun trivia, Emily Miller, left, attended Brown. She also lived with me (or rather I squatted at her apartment, which she happened to be sharing with her good friend and my soon to be free-rent giving boyfriend Sam). And she taught me all I know about playing the fiddle (which is unfortunately not that much because I don't have a teacher anymore). AND she grew up spending several weeks every summer at the Augusta workshops in my tiny hometown of Elkins. Strangely enough for a town of 7,000 people, I didn't meet her until after I moved to Providence. AND STILL MORE, after I meet Emily, she totally went back to Elkins to find a super-duper, guitar-picking, fiddle-cracking, harmony-yowling man, Jesse Milnes, right. To make matters even more fun, Jesse grew up about a block and a half away from my home. I probably splashed around in the creek (read "crick") with that boy.

I know you are bored, it's just that the world is so small, kind of makes me think you are all robots, and I'm in the Truman Show or something (God, I'm old and lame to reference that one). SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... without further adieu, I invite you to click on the following links to discover just about the freshest band I've heard in a decade: The Sweetback Sisters.

First click below to hear their music:
http://www.myspace.com/thesweetbacksisters

Click here for their blog:
http://www.thesweetbacksisters.com

And then click on the video to watch Garrison Keillor at get creepy yet wonderful with the band:

If Mandy and I morphed into a single person...

I think we would be Janet from this fabulous little story by Richard Russo. Please, read this.

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200608/richard-russo

They don't call gay people "queens" for nothing!

If you are fed up with your country start a new one! Why haven't we thought of this guys? Below I'm going to link to two very informative pages. The first, an excellent wikipedean study of the phenomenon known as the "micronation." The second is the "micronation" that I heart the most. I think these people are on to something.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealand
http://www.gayandlesbiankingdom.com/index.htm

Before we were bloggers

Jonc
http://www.angelfire.com/wv/johncspageoffun/

Moplumsy
http://www.angelfire.com/amiga/moplumsy/

Oh dear...

UPDATE:
My marvelous find of Morgan's old Web page has led her to delete it. Sigh.

Two Interviews/Three Papers to Go

To the world (aka the five people who might possibly read this),

I'm nearing the end of school which feels simultaneously like exquisite orgasm and death by water torture. Sigh. So what do I do? I start a blog! Soon I will say goodbye to Brown University and hello to Hong Kong (fingers crossed). So with much luck, this blog will become the repository for cultural mishaps and hilarious drunken posts. Here's to not drinking the water!

Jonc (That's my blogger name bitchez. Pronounced sort of like "junk" except really like "jawnk." Get it right or pay the price.)